|
Our story begins...
jeez And Cheez met on a musicians' electronic bulletin board in 2000. Meeting people on a BB was very fashionable then; you could make friends and never
lose them, because you never really met in person. You have to work pretty hard at being a jerk to piss off someone you meet on a bulletin board. Some
people are very good at it though, and cruise happily through their virtual life being loathed by one and all. Of course, the loathers may be taking it a tad too
seriously, too.
At any rate, jeez and Cheez found that they did not loathe one another, and in fact each liked the other well enough to say nice things about the others art. The things
they said were so nice, in fact, that they decided to write a song together, and so Def Con 1 was born.
jeez had actually named the song Def Con 4, foolishly believing that Def Con enumeration ended at Three, the maximum of defense readiness. Cheez,
who works for the military, informed him that not only did Def Con-ism not end at Three, but that Def Con 3 was actually a pretty peaceful situation to be in. jeez then wanted
to name the song Def Con 0, but Cheez didn't think anyone would know what they were talking about, so they settled at One.
Oh yes; that song is about the asteroid Ceres being thrown at the Earth as a weapon. Terrible devastation, etc.
The song was an instant success, selling hundreds of thousands of copies.
What's that? You've never heard of it?
Well, small wonder there - the song sold so quickly that no one actually managed to get a copy. It was a great song though. Really.
A string of smash hits followed, some reaching as high as 30,000 on the mp3.com charts. Songs about haunted trailers, H.P. Lovecraft stories, sticky love and
A49s filled the charts during their first two years together.
Then, while studying under the Mahariski Joey, Cheez had a song writers epiphany. jeez (who at the same time had taken rather a large quantity of LSD and
locked himself in his room with all of his Jan And Dean records) had something like that as well.
What came from these spiritual awakenings was Betty Got A Boob Job, a Generation IX anthem to, well, boobs.
So compelling was this song that it was immediately snatched up as theme music by one of the countries most popular TV shows: Poorman's Bikini Beach Party
What's that you say? You've never heard of that, either? You need to get out more.
Not surprisingly, it's a show with a lot of bikini clad ladies in it. It's made in California. I'm told it's nice. The show, I mean,
although I am sure that California is a wonderful place, too.
Where was I now? Ah yes...
And then, the unthinkable happened.
jeez sang We Are Not Amused, a song based on an ancient, stoned out jam with jeez's brother Pudd (who insists that he wrote the whole thing). Their biggest hit so far - a crowd favorite.
Cheez played bass. Incredible bass, it’s true. But, jeez made the song.
This started Cheez thinking (his least favorite pastime). What did he have to offer? Was he needed anymore?
Clearly jeez could make it on his own. Cheez thought to himself, “what does jeez have that I don't?”. The answer was painfully clear: “Rational Thought”.
So Cheez countered with “Confused Thought”, and Roll Me One More was born. A poor excuse for a song, but fun to sing. And the strategy worked.
The song made no sense. jeez spent so much time trying to figure out what it meant that he gave up and decided to try another collaboration.
jeez laid down some inspired swamp blues licks and Cheez came up with some equally inspired lyrics, like “ooo, wha, wah, ooo”, and “chomp”, and out
popped Alligator Man.
|
